Together
by brina2468
Summary: How did they know the cure didn't last? The events that took place after "Borrowed Time". ML
1. Chapter 1

IT'S TOO HARD

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

AN: Thanks to Lisa0316!

Max quietly walked into Logan's apartment. She hadn't spoken with him for a few days, and he hadn't been taking her phone calls, so she decided to check up on him. Max figured he was angry, she just wasn't sure if he was angry _at her_. She understood why Logan was angry. Hell, she was angry too, but she wasn't going to take it out on him; she wasn't going to blame him. It wasn't his fault that the time they had together was wasted saving the world. But she understood.

Max searched the apartment and found him in his usual brooding spot in front of the window. She walked up and stood next to him, and he tensed at her presence. Together they just stared out the window, looking into the night, both struggling to find something to say to each other.

"I'm sorry I haven't been returning your calls. I've just needed…I needed time Max." Logan finally said to her, never taking his eyes away from the view outside of his window.

Max nodded her head in understanding, not looking at him. After all, she knew how to relate, she was going though the exact same turmoil that he was. "I was just checking in on you, wanted to make sure you were okay." Max told him.

Logan sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He finally turned to look at her.

"Max..." he started but she continued to talk, not letting him finish.

"You know, at first I was beating myself up, thinking that I shouldn't have tried to find a cure at all. But then I found one. I found one and all I wanted to do was run to you. So I did. I ran to you and… I don't know if I regret it or not. I mean, I hurt too, Logan. I…" Max stopped and turned her brown teary eyes to look into his.

"You told me that you love me." Her voice quivered as she continued to watch him watch her. She saw him catch and hold his breath. "You told me you love me and now you won't talk to me." Max whispered in an almost defeated voice.

Logan just stared at her "Did you think I didn't mean it?" Logan saw the distress from that question register on Max's face, and his voice softened as he tried to explain. It wasn't as if he didn't want to talk to her, he just didn't know what to _say_ to her "Max, I wanted to give you some breathing room, I'm having a hard time with this and I know you are too. I needed to collect my thoughts. That doesn't mean I feel differently. I…I was just upset." Logan finally admitted.

She wanted to go to him right then and put her arms around him. She wanted to tell him over and over that she loved him, that she loved him so much it hurt. But she couldn't do that because he would die, courtesy of Manticore's damned virus, so all she said was, "I'm sorry, Logan."

Logan let out a harsh sigh at that. Well, what did he expect her to say? He had thought for sure that she loved him. Funny how when the words went unspoken they could pretend everything was alright, but when he finally told her how much he really loved her they ended up in this mess.

"Max, me telling you that I love you shouldn't have come as a surprise."

"I know, I just… " Max didn't know how to finish. She didn't want him to think that she didn't want him, that she didn't love him. She did say it; he just walked away before she could be sure he had heard her. But she couldn't bring herself to face his pain of rejection and bitter words. It was too hard. She couldn't deal with this, so she started for the door.

Logan watched her start to leave, his mouth hanging open in disbelief. _She was just going to walk out on him?_

"Max…" Logan called out to her. She stopped at the door, her hand on the knob, and she looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"This is too hard," was all she offered him before she walked out of his door.

He felt numb. He couldn't believe she walked out on him. Logan stood there staring at the door. It was all he could do.

Thats all for this chapter! Please let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

A Serious Mess

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Hi Everyone! Thanks so much for the feedback! I'm pleased! Thank you! And a special thanks to Lisa for all the patience and the straight forwardness. You're the best!

**A Serious Mess**

A long time passed before Logan stopped staring at his door. Max had gone, and he was afraid she might not be coming back. Her parting comments about '_this being to hard' _had finally sunk in, leaving a knot of dread in the pit of his stomach.Questions and doubts flooded Logan's mind. Did she mean that the conversation that they were having was too hard or their overall relationship was too hard? He wasn't sure about anything anymore.

Unwilling to think about it any longer, Logan made his way to the alcohol. He needed a drink. He pulled out a small bottle of pre pulse Jack Daniels, walked over to the kitchen and took out a glass from the cabinet. Pouring himself a decent amount of whiskey, he went to the window to ponder how they ended up in such a mess.

As he sipped the hard liquor, Logan tried to look at the situation objectively. He tried to put himself in Max's shoes. He knew that Max wasn't your typical girl, that she believed she wasn't made for these kinds of human emotions. He understood that it was hard for Max to share her feelings because of her brutal past, but that deep down inside, she only wanted to be loved like everyone else.

And now he knew that she knew that he loved her.

That last thought was enough to make him pour another large drink, and calm went out the window while anger quickly took its place. Why would she come here to talk to him and not talk to him? He was being reasonable. He was being honest. He hadn't asked her difficult questions. And she just left. That frustrated him. Not only couldn't they touch, now it was like they couldn't even talk to each other, and that angered him the most.

After a few more drinks, incoherent thought began to come together, forming a plan in his alcohol addled mind. He was going to find her and make her listen to him. With that decided, Logan stumbled out of his chair and made his way to the front door, only to be stopped by someone barging in. Stunned, Logan tripped backward and just managed to avoid falling on his ass. After gaining some control over his footing, Logan looked up to the intruder.

Logan's drunken mind couldn't totally understand what was going on. What he did process was Joshua in his doorway, howling and he looking like he way trying to claw his body inside out. Logan could only blink at the sight of Joshua crumbling to his knees and falling to his back while trying to peel his skin off before letting out a drunken laugh.

"Logan, Joshua itchy all over" Joshua said, pointing out the obvious. "They on me, trying to get in me. Need Logan's help please!" Joshua said.

Sniffing the air from his position on the floor, Joshua knew something was off with Logan's scent. Eyes widening, Joshua let out a soft howl, not for himself or the fleas that were trying to take over his body, but because he knew Logan was drunk. Joshua remembered the feeling of being high and not being able to control his thinking. Logan looked much like that. Joshua immediately asked for Max.

"Where is little fella?" Joshua asked.

Still finding Joshua amusing, Logan continued to chuckle instead of answering right away. Joshua called his name over again, this time getting his attention and his answer.

"She left me, buddy" Logan slurred. "Yep, walked out on me. Said it was hard. Whatever that means."

Joshua, still on the floor, stopped scratching for a moment to defended Max. "Little fella just tired, she come back." Joshua didn't know what happened, but he knew that little fella worked hard to get busy with Logan.

Suddenly glad to have Joshua there, Logan smiled and got up to help. "I sure hope your right, Josh buddy. I hope your right."

Max walked up the stairs to Joshua's. She had brought him some of those Little Debbie's that he loved so much. "Joshua, I have something for you." Max called out, walking though the living room after not seeing him in there.

T_hat's weird, he loves these things, he should be running by now._

Max called his name again and still got nothing. Worry started to creep its way up her spine. She went on searching the whole house but couldn't find him anywhere. Dropping the bag on the way out, she set off to find him She had told him countless times that it wasn't safe for him to leave the house. Reaching a pay phone, Max jammed some change in and dialed Alec's cell phone, impatiently waiting for him to pick up.

"Yello," Alec answered in his ever present bored tone.

"Alec it's me. Do you have Joshua?" Max asked frantically.

"Max, if anyone was to have anyone, it certainly wouldn't be me having Josh," Alec joked.

Not having time for his smart ass mouth, Max chose to ignore him. Instead, she told him that Joshua was missing, and if he wasn't with him, then he was probably in trouble. After a few more minutes of bickering, Max got Alec to agree to help, and they decided to split up to cover more ground.

Later that night, the usually clean and kept apartment of Logan Cale was anything but. Had someone walked in, they would have thought a smoke bomb went off until they saw Joshua and a still drunk Logan pouring and flinging flea powder everywhere. Joshua was still huffing and howling and Logan was acting like a child out playing in the snow.

That was the sight that met Alec as he barged into Logan's apartment.

Alec didn't know what Max's problem was, but when he asked her if she had tried looking for Joshua at Logan's, she bit his head off and then made up some lame excuse about why Joshua wouldn't go to Logan's. Alec didn't see why Joshua wouldn't go to Logan's place, he loved it there. So like always, he ignored Max, half because he didn't like her telling him what to do and half because he was curious as to what was going on between Max and Logan. Those two were just plain pitiful.

It took a second for the image in front of him to register in Alec's brain, and when it did, he almost pissed himself from laughing. Not only was Joshua flailing all over the place in a cloud of flea powder, but the almost always serious Logan was giggling drunk! _Man, what did Max do?_

He interrupted the flea treatment to ask what the hell was going on.

Hearing Alec, Logon looked over at him. "Hey Alec, come to join the party?"

Chuckling, Alec started to move into the room. "So what's going on in here?

Josh, you okay?"

"Bugs on me, Logan helping," was all Joshua offered.

"Oh, well, that's nice of him. So Logan, what's up with the drinky drinky?"

"Max dumped me, said I was too hard," Logan said before bursting out laughing on his own corny joke.

"She dumped you…because you were too hard? Well…that's interesting," Alec said.

"Told her I love her, scared her 'way," Logan said after taking another swing of Jack.

"Whoa, easy there, buddy," Alec said walking over to Logan, taking away his bottle and setting it on the table. "Let's get you both better. Josh, go on in the bathroom and just sit under the shower, drown those bad boys out. Logan, let's go get you some water to drink," Alec directed, helping Logan up.

"I ruined it; I put too much on 'er."

"No, she'll be fine Logan, she probably just needed some alone time, she'll be back in no time. But we have to get you sobered up first," Alec said, dragging Logan to the kitchen.

Seeming to notice the flea powder on his clothes for the first time, Logan looked at Alec. "Look at me, I'm a serious mess.

"Yes you are, buddy," Alec answered, giving Logan a powdery slap on the back. "Yes you are."


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to everyone who is still reading! A Special thanks to Lisa, who not only amuses me, and listens to my nothings, but edits my work! What a gal!

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

Confrontations

Max was starting to worry. She hadn't had any luck with finding Joshua, and now Alec wasn't even bothering to pick up his damn phone. She angrily shoved some more change into the pay phone and left a third message, thinking about how annoying Alec could be and wondering where the hell everyone was.

As she looped down Joshua's street again, her mind wandered back to Logan, and her heart sank. She hadn't turned back when he called to her because she couldn't take the hurt in his voice, and she didn't want to catch another glimpse at the pain and love pouring out of his eyes, all because of her. It was too much for her to handle, so instead she took a deep breath and tried to focus on the matter at hand, which was tracking down Joshua.

Max thought maybe she should search places she knew Joshua thought about visiting. Last week he wanted to go to the park and she had told him no. She couldn't risk anyone seeing him, especially little kids who might get scared and start screaming. Max shuddered at the thought of that disaster. Joshua seemed to have a hard time accepting the situation. She couldn't blame him. He had been locked up his whole life, and he fought so hard to be free of Manticore's prison, only to be caged again. It wasn't fair. Max didn't like to think about it, but she had no choice.

It was her fault.

That fact slapped her in the face every time she turned around and saw something from Manicore, every time she had to confine Joshua, every time she had to go out and save someone from what she had let loose on the world, and especially every time she had to look at Logan. It hurt to think that she caused such a big change in the world and ruined her relationship with Logan.

The noise from her beeper ripped her from her uncomfortable thoughts. Alec's number was appearing across the screen. Finally. Spotting a pay phone, she called Alec back, hoping he had some good news for her.

"Talk to me."

"Did you find Joshua? And why didn't you answer my phone calls?"

"Yeah, I was tied up," he said, amusement clear in his voice.

Max _so_ didn't have time for this. "Did you find him or not, Alec?"

"Sure did," was all he said.

"Alec…" There were times when she couldn't stand him.

"Yeah, Max?"

"Where is he?" She demanded, thinking about how badly she wanted to punch Alec in the face…just once.

"Oh, we're just hanging out with a friend."

Max was silent, willing herself to stay under control. She reminded herself that it was just Alec trying to get under her skin, and she thought about punching him some more to calm herself down.

"Again, where is Joshua?"

"We're at Logan's. You should come by, join the party."

Max had never hated Alec more than she did in that moment. "Why is he at Logan's?"

"Said it was his favorite place in the world," Alec said. She could hear the laughter in his voice, and it made her think about all the painful things she would do to him before she killed him. "Figured you wouldn't be mad, since it is Logan and all. You'll have to come pick Josh up though. I've got places to be, people who wanna see me…you know how it is, Maxie."

"Alec, just please bring Joshua with…"

"He'll be here," Alec said before he cut her off by hanging up the phone.

Beyond pissed, Max slammed the phone down. She was going to kill Alec! Why did he always have to be such an asshole? Why? Now she was going to have to go to Logan's to get Joshua. She was tempted to just let Joshua stay there until Logan when out to the store or to meet an informant or something, but she made her way back to Sector 9 anyway. Joshua was here responsibility; she couldn't put him off on Logan.

But why did Joshua have to go over to _Logan's_ of all places?

Now she would have to face the man she had left hanging only hours ago. Life sucked.

As she entered the building, Max desperately hoped Joshua would be waiting for her near the door, or better yet, she really wanted him to be waiting in the hallway. Unfortunately, she was learning to face the fact that things never seemed to go her way, so she took a deep breath and walked back into Logan's apartment.

She found Logan sitting in his living room, and Joshua no where in sight.

"Hey," Logan greeted her quietly. The effect of the liquor had disappeared, leaving an awful headache behind in its place, and he was reaching the point where nothing that happened that night would surprise him anymore.

"Hey, um…I just came to pick up Joshua." Max said, trying to avoid his eyes. "Where is he?"

"Alec took him home… I thought you knew. Alec said he…Ah." Logan couldn't bring himself to be surprised at Alec's less than subtle matchmaking skills, and he knew the poor guy would suffer for it the next time Max saw him (if he could keep a straight face) but Logan was grateful for his tactics, because it brought Max back through his door again, and he was determined to finish the conversation she walked out on earlier. "We should finish talking, Max."

Max tensed up at his raspy voice. She didn't want to talk. She wanted to escape this talk, and him. All she wanted to do was go check on Joshua, kill Alec, and go home to cry … all in that order.

The air seemed to grow thicker as he waited for her response. She was fighting a battle within herself, and the only thing Logan could read in her dark eyes was the obvious desire to bolt as she remained silent and continued to avoid his gaze.

"Damn it, Max, say something." Logan prompted, frustration evident in his voice. Max's eyes finally shot to meet his.

"I don't know what to say to you, Logan," she answered softly.

He couldn't help but think it would have been better if they were screaming at each other. At least then he would know what she was thinking. "Say anything Max. I need to know what is going though your mind." He got up and took a few steps towards her.

She took a few back.

She knew she needed to let him go. He deserved to be free of this whole mess. She squared her shoulders and looked him in the eyes, and in a voice that was much stronger than she felt, she said, "I can't touch you Logan."

"I know that, Max." Did she really think he didn't know that, that he could forget it for even a second? "But we'll figure out a way to fix…"

"We can't pretend anymore!" she interrupted. "I can't come here ever again. Someday we might casually brush against each other and that will be it, Logan. You'll die and there'll be nothing I can do about it." Max paused and stared him in the eyes, willing him to see how scared she was, how afraid she was of losing him. "I would rather end this now and have you hurt a little bit than stay around until I kill you, which would be pretty damn permanent. Thanks, but I'll pass." With nothing else to say, she turned to leave.

Carefully rushing past her, Logan slammed the door shut as she was opening it. Seeing him so close she backed away from the door with her hands up in front of her. "Careful!" she spat, looking up into his now angry eyes.

Ignoring her warning, he stepped even closer to her. "I'm not letting you walk away like this, Max."

"Do you have a death wish or something? Back up, Logan."

"Don't I get a vote, since it's my life on the line and all? I know you're scared, Max, but I'm willing to risk it to be with you. We can get through this. Why can't you see that?"

"Why can't you see that I can kill you?" She shot back.

Realizing how close they were again, Max took another step back.

Logan crossed his arms over his chest, matching her stubborn defiance. "We're going to find a cure. I'm not giving up on us, Max."

"Logan…"

"I don't care about anything else; don't think I am going to let you walk out of my life just because of something Manticore…"

He went on and on, but Max wasn't listening anymore, she just knew she had to get as far away from him as possible before he said something that shook her resolve and made her stay. She moved past him to the door. Eyes set straight ahead. Before she knew it, she felt a hand grab her arm to spin her around, and she sensed a careless brush of bare skin just below her sleeve. She violently shook him off and stared up into his face with horrified eyes.

"Logan." It was all she could say.

oooo

More coming soon!


End file.
